The spiritual journey is not always fun. It is one that ultimately must be taken alone. There can be periods of great loneliness and fear, and the desire to reach out to another for reassurances and solutions to one’s pain can be extremely powerful. Letting go of all one’s hopes and desires and letting the mind fall back into nothingness elicits great resistance from the mind itself. The mind desires to see itself as loved and kept safe by others. The very thought of letting go of one’s psychological need for others can seem like the very end of life itself; the ending of a pleasurable and satisfying future before it has even begun – not knowing in advance whether tomorrow will bring more pain or some pleasure, some safety or more insecurity.
The mind wants to cling – to belief in others, to belief in some religion, to belief in God, to belief in principles, to belief in some philosophy or some ideology, to belief in itself and its own ability to provide itself with everything that it believes is necessary to its future. This clinging creates its own pain, yet we go on clinging because the alternative seems terrifying. To end the self, to invite psychological death, seems to be inviting the very end of life itself. But to those who have thoroughly explored the self comes the realisation that it’s really to invite a new beginning. However, as long as it is still the self that is handing out the invitation the guest will never arrive.